All That I Need is in Me
After a couple month hiatus and what I would simply label a "funk", I finally found a doorway that opened and allowed my being to connect with my higher consciousness, which during this down turn, I have most surely been disconnected from. I feel so blessed to have felt this magnificent side of me, yet because I have reached this most amazing place, when I'm not there I find my lows to be that much more mournful. It's almost like missing my soul mate, yet that soul mate is me.
Knowing that this too shall pass (one of my favorite sayings, by the way), I made sure to feel all of my emotions and allow what needed to come, come. In the process I developed neck pain that was unrelieved by the usual remedies such as massage and long hot baths with Epsom salts. I meditated and asked what on earth could be wrong with me. Nothing. I wrote in my journal, consulted my oracle cards, and spoke with whoever would listen to my woes. Yet, I really couldn't put my finger on what was really bothering me. The only thing that came to me was that I was disconnected and I wanted so badly to be connected to my source energy that when I felt this presence, there is no greater high.
Now without sounding like a spiritual junkie, which I suppose I am, I first need to explain to you why this place of connectedness is so blissfully intoxicating. I recently read a couple of books that spoke perfectly with how I was feeling when I reached this higher state of awareness. Both books are about Near Death Experiences (NDE) and both spoke of their understanding of the true meaning of life. The books are "Dying to Be Me" by Anita Moorjani and "Proof of Heaven" by Eben Alexander. I highly recommend these books. Aside from being miraculous experiences that they both went through, the true message is that we have everything we need inside us right now. Once this part of us is realized, life will be richer, brighter and oh so fulfilled.
Yes, I too have felt this. Fortunately I didn't have to die to realize this. Yet, this state of awareness ebbs and flows, which I have to be honest, is so completely frustrating! Interestingly enough, the further I got from my center, the more fear took over and then it was harder to dig myself out. My "human" brain took over and before you know it, all of my creativity flew out the door and my mind was searching for ways of escaping. In fact I was about to take money out of retirement and jet out across land and sea, thinking that if I changed my scenery my consciousness would change.
Interestingly enough, it was also during this time that my kids were raising hell, more people were cutting me off in traffic and I swear the whole world had plastered angry faces all over town. Oh thank you God for this great reflection! I already know I'm in a funk, I don't need the rest of the world to mirror it back to me! (Sense the sarcasm?).
So, the truth of the matter, I went from blissfully happy to feeling as if I'm battling a serious depression. I was swimming upstream, and I was loosing energy fast.
Finally, I just gave in. I stopped fighting. I meditated. I breathed. I finally let go. And what did I see? I saw me. My God self. Nothing more. The truth then became apparent to me. In spite of my best efforts to trying to perfect my life, I realized that I was already perfect. Connecting with the spirit in me, that is perfection. I realized that I felt best when I just breathed and let God in. Then as soon as I knew this to be true, I felt a surge of energy that radiated out of every pore of my body. Every cell excitedly fired up and tears were streaming down my face with a warm river of pure love.
This is life. This is love. This is God, and we are all this. Life is always going to be a series of ebbs and flows, ups and downs, trials and tribulations. As Abraham-Hicks explains, we need to constantly work on getting into our source energy (Vortex) and once a manifestation appears we get excited and lavish in that moment. But soon, we will get uncomfortable, which is good because it helps produce a new desire of what we do want, then we do all that we can to follow this desire and master our emotions so we get back into the Vortex. I equate it to remodeling your home. You do a lot of work, then sit back with glee at the finished product, yet soon enough, you realize that you must change the way the bathroom looks since now it isn't working for you. So, you start to remodel again.
Its a never ending process. That's life. Yet, knowing that we are one with God and our truth is just taking a deep breath and realizing this, we can never go wrong. My high energy is because I now feel even more connected to this part of me. I know that no matter what happens outside of me, I will be okay. So I post this blog so you all know this truth is all of our truth. You too are perfect, just the way you are. Just take a deep breath and feel the love that is eagerly awaiting your awareness.