Shame Be Gone
If I had a dime for every time I felt like a I made a mistake, I would be pretty well off. I would stack those dimes one on top of the other, in an artistic tower scattered throughout my house as unfriendly reminder that, yes Michele... you did it again! Every time I try to cash in those dimes in the "memory" bank of let by gones be by gones, the teller rejects my deposit and tells me in her rude and unforgiving tone, "why can't you just get it right!?"
So off I go defeated, depleted and filled with shame. I make a pack with myself I will do it different next time. You know what? The very next day, this same situation creeps in like a fog machine at a night club, enticing me, luring me and forcing me to dance. Yet no one has forced me. I go willingly. You should see the new sculpture in my living room. Really a work of art!
Then I try a different tactic. I decide to instead put my art up for sale in a gallery and stand by the new onlookers and stay standing, even in the face of discomfort and shame. I yell to the world, "So what! I'm human!" "Take it or leave it." "Its my art and I'm tired of being ashamed!"
Now this is when I take a deep breath and tell myself with as much passion and love that I can muenster and say "I love you anyway Michele... even when you feel you suck." Now that is true unconditional love, right? I've learned that I am the best person to give it to me. I am the biggest judger of me anyway, so why not provide that little angle on my shoulder that knows in truth I can do no wrong.
We have all felt this way. Ashamed, frustrated and plain angry with ourselves. If you stop for a minute and listen to the voices in your head, wrote it down, you would quickly furrow your brow in disgust that you had the nerve to say such rude things to yourself. In fact if there was a transcriptionist standing by she would have to see a therapist just to deal with all of the negativity.
I often tell people to ask yourself, would you say those things to a child? So why do we say them to ourselves? Humans are given a brain, emotions, thoughts, experiences... all there to help us grow. If we are to stop the stream of voices in our heads and insisted that they speak with only love, than yes, we could learn to be comfortable with our seemingly mistakes. Nothing is more powerful than this! A thousand therapist, towers of pills and self medicating meds would not have the effect that loving kindness towards yourself would.
So today and everyday, give yourself an internal hug and parent from within. Never judge, never criticize and never ever feel bad about being human. This is a work in progress for me, but every day it gets easier. In the mean time, my gallery is filling with beautiful works of art that shine with the truth to my life. There is no shame in that. Only love.