A Valentines For YOU
I find the hardest thing to being single is holiday's. It just seems like these holiday's were set up to make those of us who are single feel even more lonely and hopeless. Valentines is still ten days away and I'm already hearing the dread in my single friends voices. I, on the other hand have enjoyed Valentines far more since I've been single. For starters, my ex-husband was never a fan. He felt it was a materialistic holiday that forced you to "love" your partner, when you should do this daily. Now, I can somewhat agree with him, but now I look at this holiday in such a different light, it has become one of my favorite holiday's.
Valentine's to me, is about celebrating love. I come from a place that all you need is love. I know its a cliche and a very popular song, but its true! The starting point for finding love is in yourself. I have recently started asking people if they love themselves. I have been astounded how few people really do! In fact, at my last Meetup group I asked my members to take old beliefs and turn them around with more positive affirmations. One of my Meetup members, when I told her to turn her "I'm fat" into "I'm beautiful and perfect exactly as I am" she immediately cringed and said "NO Way! That would be lying!" When I asked a very good friend of mine if she could daily say in the mirror that she loved herself, she also thought it was a tall order and that I was crazy to think that she could do this!
So here, friends, I have realized that we first and foremost need to love ourselves. In fact Louise Hay, the Queen of Affirmations, when I saw her at an I Can Do It conference in October, she pulled out a mirror that she casually hid in her bra (now I have to preference that she is 85 years old!) and demonstrated what she does many times a day, saying that she loves herself in her mirror.
The first time I fell in love with myself, I was at the gym on the treadmill listening to a song by Ingrid Michaelson called "Can't Help Falling In Love." I often would hear these songs and feel sad that I had no one to think about when these songs came on. Then I thought to myself, why not fall in love with me! It was quite powerful and truly changed how I thought of myself.
I started feeling less alone. I started enjoying life more, smiling more, laughing more and finding myself no longer feeling jealous of all of the "happy" couples that I was not. I also found my love for others grew exponentially. Its like when you have a child and then another, and you think how on earth could I love that second (or third, or fourth) as much as the first. But we do. And when I fell in love with myself, my love for others become unconditional. It was amazing and I am here to tell you, I love myself so much, on Valentines day, I use that time to celebrate all that I love, which is a lot!!
So, this Valentines day, single or not, use this day to love yourself. You deserve absolute greatness. It's not selfish or egotistical to love yourself. Like I said, my love for others grew so much, that I have found such a passion for helping people be as great as they were meant to be. No person is flawed. We only haven't had permission to love ourselves. So now you have it! Love, love, love to you all!! You deserve it.