Just Go With The Flow
I have come to a point in my life where I'm just now starting to see the fruits of my labor. Meaning, all of the searching, meditating, learning, and trying to practice what I preach is starting to show its effects on my life. Most of my days are brighter, happier and filled with such joy I often feel like I'm floating on cloud nine! I can feel that I'm riding at a higher vibration and everyone around me seems to mirror this fabulous new me.
Until one day, it just stops. For no apparent reason (or perhaps there are sutle reasons, but none that should have the power to push me off this amazing track that I have been riding and flowing with ease) I find myself in a depression that pulls me underwater with only a small snorkel to get small breaths. I sometimes wonder if I'm bipolar and have even gone as far as to ask my mom who is a liscenced counselor and knows me more than anyone, if I am. Thank God she says "no", but I can't help but get frustrated with this new found depression. Especially when everything is still going so right!
What I have also come to learn is that I'm still learning. Not that I ever proclaimed to have figure it all out. Have you ever heard the saying "When you figured everything out, your dead"? Well, I'm not dead. Therefore, I'm still learning. But what has made my learning easier is the lesson of letting go and just going with the flow. Perhaps you have heard, "If you can't beat them, join them"? This is my new approach in life. But when I'm talking about "them", I'm talking about my emotions. The good, the bad and the ugly. They are all a part of me, so why fight them?
I know I've written a blog on resistance, and this goes along that same line, but this takes it a step further in that I see my ego communicating with me without judgment. For instance, being single I find the one area that my ego likes to point out is that I'm still single after two and a half years. On most days I embrace my single status and am in such a good place in my life, that if someone great were to come into my life it would be icing on the cake. But when I'm depressed or sad, the ego likes to trick me into believing that there is something wrong with me if I'm still single.
My old self would have agreed and then wallowed in my depression even further. But my new stance is that I see my ego for what it is... not something to be trusted but at least acknowledged. Like you would an aquintence who may annoy you, but you know from their history that they are really insecure and sad and would benefit from your unconditional love. So I give this part of me love and attention, but then I bid it farewell and go about my day. I don't stop it from coming. This has proven impossible anyway. I let my emotions flow and know that this too shall pass.
Life is full of ebs and flows. I choose to go with it. Even when it sucks! Coming from a loving place in ALL that you do, is really the right thing. Once I accept that I'm human, it is far easier to be human I tell you! And what great lessons you will learn along the way!