What we resist persist. What we resist persist. What we resist persist! I say this over and over again, because it’s kind of how it sounds in my mind. The more I resist something, the more it keeps coming up and usually at the most inopportune times! For a time, I can keep these annoying negative thoughts at bay. In fact I’m a master at putting things on the lower shelf. I have also gotten good about forgetting where I put them. I usually applaud my master skill at this and treat myself to a good glass a wine and toast to myself for a “job well done!” I’m truly gifted when it comes to hiding things, especially from myself. Another name for this is “denial”.
However, these so called “annoying negative thoughts” have a mysterious way of creeping back up the book shelf and plopping on my lap. So what do I do? I put it back in its place! Then I go about my day,thinking that I beat it, when in reality it’s never going to go away. What you resist persist. What you resist persist! No matter how many times I shove these thoughts aside, beat them down or even yell at them to “GO AWAY”, they sit there like a black fog that can’t be erased.
The only true way to battle these demons is to do the exact opposite of what you would feel like doing… go with it and REALLY feel these emotions. No matter how bad or traumatic these thoughts can be, the only way to get through it is to be with it. I mean to fully immerge with the sensation of the thought. One time I was meditating, I found myself battling some pretty negative thoughts that I would have much preferred to stuff into a rocket and shoot it into space so it could never been seen again. I tried every trick in the book to get “rid” of this thought. Nothing was working! Finally, a thought came into my mind, clear as day that said, “Michele, go with the feeling, don’t resist.” So that’s what I did.
Within moments, I was feeling relaxed and safe, knowing full well that nothing bad would happen to me. I then was able to see that by resisting, I only kept that fear of the unknown alive. By diving into it, it lost its power overme. I felt a tremendous shift and anawareness that fear can be conquered, but only by facing it and not running away. I also learned so much about myself and why I do these things I do, without judgment. Yet, the most powerful lesson to all of this was that I had the courage to battle these demons, and for that I’m so proud ofme!